Help my memory?

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  • Help my memory?

    I need help with something that I’m sure this crowd of aviation experts can handle. There’s a story, see, and I… Well, I’ll get it started and maybe you can lend me a hand.
    The way it starts is, everyone has to take a checkride now and again.
    Even Santa.
    So, one Christmas Eve, and as everyone knows, it’s always very busy for Santa on Christmas Eve, anyway, one Christmas Eve, Santa notices a guy in a plain gray suit standing outside the door to the toy factory at the North Pole. The man is holding a clipboard in one hand and a duffel bag in the other, and he has a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses peeking out of the breast pocket of the suit.
    Santa strokes his fluffy white beard and asks, “May I help you?”
    “Mr. Claus?” the man asks, setting down the duffel bag and reaching inside his suit coat and withdrawing a ball point pen.
    “You got it on the first guess,” says Santa. “You must have been a very good boy.”
    The man starts writing on his clipboard and without looking up, he says, “I’m Barnes Happybottom from the FAA, and I’m here for your checkride in that sleigh out on the ramp there.”
    “Oh Oh Oh,” says Santa. “This is a very busy time for me, you know. I have to make a lot of deliveries tonight. Can’t we do this in a day or two?”
    “Sorry. Has to be today. Only take about half an hour,” says Happybottom, still filling in boxes on the paper on his clipboard. “You’ll want to have at least eight reindeer in the traces, and I’ll need to look over the airwothiness certificate and all the other usual paperwork.”
    “Oh Oh Oh, gimme just a couple of minutes,” says Santa. “Need any hot cocoa?”
    “Maybe later.”
    Santa gets some elves to put the reindeer into position, and he settles into the left seat, and Happybottom sits on the right with his clipboard and bag, and gives Santa a nod, and Santa sighs a tired sigh and gives the reins a halfhearted shake and says, ‘On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen! On…” and just then he sees Happybottom pull something from the duffel bag, and it looks quite a lot like a Remington Model 870 pump action 12-gauge shotgun. “What are you doing?” Santa asks.
    And I just… can’t quite… remember the rest of the story. That’s what I need your help with.





  • #2
    ...Expect an engine failure right after takeoff...

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    • #3
      No engines, you're going to "lose one" on takeoff.

      Comment


      • #4
        No, no no. It's "I'm nt supposed to tell you this, but you better expect to lose one on takeoff."

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        • #5
          Ha ha!! He did it. He sucked you in! Beautifully done.

          Jim knows the end as well as anybody. He just wants "The Prize"

          Did we ever decide on what "The Prize" was?

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          • #6
            I thought the prize was a week's use of the Avsig jet.

            (Yes, I knew the ending, and just wanted to see if people still played the "whoever posts this joke first each year will be scoffed at" game. Evidently people no longer fear to tread there.)
            Look at how kind and helpful everyone has been. What wonderful souls we have here.

            -Jim

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Jim Gifford View Post
              I thought the prize was a week's use of the Avsig jet.

              (Yes, I knew the ending, and just wanted to see if people still played the "whoever posts this joke first each year will be scoffed at" game. Evidently people no longer fear to tread there.)
              Look at how kind and helpful everyone has been. What wonderful souls we have here.

              -Jim
              Jim -- Oh, we had some good joke telling at Duluth! Some might even be able to be posted online!

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              • #8
                Has anyone fallen for this gag since we emigrated from SIG I?

                Comment


                • A. Niemyer
                  A. Niemyer commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I see it annually, multiple times, over at the Childcare Center, a.k.a. “AOPA Members” (Not an official AOPA page, btw) on FarceBook.

              • #9
                To heck with all of you. I was duped into posting the story back in the day. NOT FAIR. Phil Hecksel, burn in hades!

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                • #10
                  Santa’s Checkride . . .

                  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=50vE47DGEy4
                  Last edited by Tom Tyson; 12-07-2017, 09:07.
                  Tom Tyson-A&P

                  Pilots without Mechanics are just Pedestrians with fancy watches . . .
                  ( . . . and Mechanics without Pilots are Unemployed.)

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Originally posted by Tom Tyson View Post
                    Tisk, tisk. This is SIG III:

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